Monday, October 20, 2008

Obama Jokes

These are the Obama Jokes that were laughed at by Obama himself! (not sure about authenticity!)

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Obama also poked fun at his Democratic National Convention acceptance speech, which he delivered before a crowd of tens of thousands at an outdoor football stadium on an elaborately constructed stage.

"I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium," he said of the dinner.

Then, pausing and looking around, he said, "Could somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"

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McCain lampooned Obama's primary opponent, Hillary Rodham Clinton, as well as himself.

"Even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats, I can't shake the feeling that some people here are pulling for me," he said, before adding: "I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary."

He also said Obama "is ready for any contingency, even the possibility of a sudden and dramatic market rebound. I'm told that at the first sign of a recovery, he will suspend his campaign and fly immediately to Washington to address the crisis," said the Republican, who drew criticism when he suspended his campaign a few weeks ago and flew to Washington during the crisis.

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Pastor Wright and a Barack Obama arrived in Heaven at the same time. Saint Peter checked them both in and assigned them their rooms. "Pastor Wright, here is the key to one of our standard efficiency units. But for you, Mr. Obama, here's the key to the finest penthouse suite in Heaven." "Why don't I get a penthouse too? I'm a minister!" Pastor Wright complained. "Think about it," Saint Peter replied, "There are plenty of ministers up here, but Obama is the first lawyer or politician we've ever seen."

Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Kool-Aid, of course.

Q. Why doesn't the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?
A. Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.

Q. Why does Obama Messiah wear his hair so short?
A. So it won’t get tangled in his turban.

Q. Why will Obama Messiah remove the windows in the White House?
A. He'll replace them all with stained glass.

Q. Why didn’t Obama Messiah notice all of the terrible things Pastor Wright was saying?
A. He was too busy polishing his Halo.

Q. Why did Obama Messiah say that Americans are “bitter” and they “cling” to religion?
A. The Devil made him do it.

Hillary wants socialism to go from the cradle to the grave. Obama Messiah wants it to go from conception through the resurrection.

Q. Why haven't Obama's followers demanded that his face be added to Mount Rushmore yet?
A. They're still trying to figure out how to carve a stone halo.